Stop reading now if you don't want the emotional and graphic details of this wonderfully difficult process!  All men should probably stop reading, however I doubt many men even clicked the link to this blog!  :) 
Win and I finally decided it was time to begin our family just over a year and a half ago.  We thought it might take a few tries, but we had no idea the journey we had in front of us.  I decided to write this blog to let others know that they aren't alone in the battle of infertility.  I had no idea of the struggles everyday people go through to get pregnant.  Seemed to me like everyone just blinked and was popping out children.  This was not the case for us.  Many would say that a year and a half isn't that long to be trying, but let me tell you... after 6 months of failed attempts, I was knocking on my doctor's door, asking for help.  We were ready... and tired of the disappointment each month brought.  We started with a few tests and everything came back clear... there was no reason we hadn't gotten pregnant.  So we started Clomid and even tried an IUI.  I'll let you google that.  Multiple failed attempts.  Eventually we were advised to head to an infertility specialist (Dr. Rinku Mehta, whom I love).  We started a new med. called Femara and tried another IUI... More failed attempts.  Multiple times throughout our first year of trying I would start early which concerned me because like all women, I knew my body, and knew this wasn't right.  Dr. Mehta agreed to look into possible causes... and when we did, we found a polyp in my uterus which causes a "hostile" uterus... No egg would want to implant in a hostile environment, so we scheduled surgery.  With everything back in good condition we just knew we would now get pregnant... Unfortunately we were not successful, yet again.  So now we moved on to hormone injections... Yep shots of Folistim in the tummy.  Luckily I have an amazing mother and husband who gave me my shots nightly.  We followed this up with a trigger shot of Ovidrel and another IUI.  Month one of this treatment concoction was June, and boy were we surprised by the results.  My ovaries overstimulated and I had 9 mature follicles.  Yep you heard me, one more than Octomom!  This was the worse day by far of the entire process because I was advised by the on-call doctor (Dr. Mehta was on vacation) to take the morning after pill.  Well that didn't go over well for me... A big shout out to my mom, win, and my best friends Ginia, Sarah, and Stephanie who listened to me cry over this mess.  Throughout this whole process Win and I trusted in the fact that this was not our plan... its God's plan.. and once again he was in control... No babies that month, praise God because 9 is just too many!!!  The next month I had cysts and therefore had to take a month off.  August came around and we opted to try the same routine again, this time a lower dose of meds.  Well it worked... but only to find out that I would miscarry very early.  So we tried once again in September.  Win and I had already talked and this was our final attempt before closing shop until summer when we would give IVF a try...  Well September was our lucky month... It finally worked, for real this time.  My numbers doubled appropriately, we got to hear a precious heartbeat at 6 wks and 3 days and now at 12 wks we couldn't be happier!  Some of you may wonder why I took the time to air all of our struggles on the internet... and this is why.... I had no idea that so many people I knew were going through or had been through the same thing.  Infertility is an ugly word that plagues many couples, no one wants to talk about it... but I don't want anyone I know to feel like they have no where to turn.  My first bit of advice, give it all over to God.  He is an awesome God, and although we may not know the plans he has for us, he indeed has a plan.  I also want to thank my forever friends and family who walked this walk with me and Win, day in and day out, every month for almost 2 years.  If you need me, let me know, I would love to share my journey, in detail (this was an overview), with anyone who needs to hear that they aren't alone!  And if you are struggling with infertility and aren't quite ready to talk about it... just keep trying and trust in God's plan for you!  God Bless! 

Recovery

Thank you everyone for all of your many thoughts and prayers! I am now home recovering so I figured I could update everyone about my surgery!

Friday 3:45am our alarm goes off and its time to shower and head to The Heart Hospital. I made sure to wear my lucky four leaf clover socks that the Mays family gave me for my last surgery!

About 5:30am The pre-op stuff began. This included paperwork, drawing blood, a chest xray, and starting my iv. Did I mention I hate needles? Well the nurse was so nice to say they would numb my hand for my iv... yeah well no one mentioned that it was a numbing shot... I didn't sign up for an extra needle to be stabbed into my hand.. After the numbing shot she started the iv but was unable to thread it therefore she sat there digging around in my hand for a while until she decided to give up and the anesthesiologist stepped in and put the iv in my other hand... Lets just say I was NOT happy and if this was any indication on how my surgery was going to go I was a little worried.

Around 7:15am it was time to head back to surgery. Night night for me!

Around 9:00am I woke up with a scratchy throat and busted lip from being intubated.(sp?) Once I was brought back to the room it was time for a popsicle! The nurse offered me a menu to order breakfast from and then realized Dr. Ryan ordered me to be on a liquid diet so all I had was beef broth! yummy... Then I was given pain meds!

A big thank you to the staff at The Heart Hospital Baylor Plano because they are absolutely the sweetest most caring bunch around! Regardless of my silly questions and comments they always smile and make you feel at home!

Around 11 I was released from the hospital. We spent the remainder of the day watching movies on the couch and sleeping. The pain from the incision was not enjoyable.

Today Win and Mom went with me to school to help finish setting up my classroom for my transition to our new curriculum. A big thank you to them both because I was very stressed out about how I was going to get it all done!

I don't have much of an appetite today, I have felt nauseous on and off, and I have a fear that I have urinary retention... Sorry if that is too much information but its true! The pain from the incision is less today but still hurts. Hopefully tomorrow I will be back to normal!

On a positive note I am now OBSESSED with Pinterest and can't wait to show off my new craft projects! Fun blogs to come!

Wireless!

Katy did great! Doc said he could see inflammation around the wires when he got in there and took them out. Hopefully now Katy can get past all the pain and discomfort and move on to the next stage of her rehab from her heart surgery. You can see from the photo she's awake and resting and we got a souvenir too :)

EARLY MORNIN

We just checked in at the hospital and are awaiting to finish up registration and pre-op stuff. We're hoping todays' procedure is just a day surgery and she can come home this afternoon. Either Jan (Katy's mom) or I will post an update when we hear from the surgeon. Mazy and Ninja had to fight over who got to give mommy a kiss goodbye first ^_^

Surgery

Tomorrow morning I will be going in to have my wires around my sternum taken out. We have to be at The Heart Hospital Baylor Plano at 5am and then surgery is scheduled for 7:30am! Win and my mom will be with me and hopefully Win will be able to update the blog so everyone knows my progress. My cardiac surgeon said if I am tolerating the pain meds well should be able to go home tomorrow afternoon, if not they will keep me over night! Thank you very much for all of your thoughts and prayers!

Update on my murmur: My cardiologist's nurse called yesterday to let me know that the stress echo with doppler confirmed that I have pulmonary stenosis. After I speak with my cardiac surgeon tomorrow I will hopefully know more abuot what that means for me!

WISH ME LUCK!

Frustrated

What is wrong with me? Why is something always wrong with me? Will my heart ever be healthy? These are the questions that go through my head all the time.
Last week I spend every afternoon at some sort of doctors appointment. My cardiologist and I are both concerned about why I still have a very loud murmur and shortness of breath. I cant climb a few stairs, or get in and out of bed in the middle of the night, let alone exercise without having shortness of breath. I'm not in the best shape but come on at the age of 28 I shouldn't have these constant problems. Keep in mind 7 months ago I had open heart surgery to close my VSD and they stitched a PFO... You would think my problems would be solved... but nope. So then I went to see my cardiac surgeon... after a 2 hour anxious wait in his office and a very unprofessional meeting here is what I know: I have surgery scheduled for next Friday to have the wires wrapped about my sternum removed which should solve my chest pain and constant inflammation, he thinks the murmur we are hearing is a flow murmur, I have to have a stress echo with doppler to determine my pulmonary artery pressures and then we can figure out what to do next.
So today I had my stress echo with doppler.... I hit my target heart rate at 160 in 4.5 minutes, and then my max heart rate of 190 at 8 minutes. PITIFUL! Its so frustrating! Anyways, the cardiologist reading the test today does not know my case so he wasn't very helpful... I will hopefully hear from my cardiologist and my cardiac surgeon in the next day or two before surgery.

I'm ready to be fixed! For real this time! Goodbye wires!

Waiting...

I have been putting this off for some time now but I guess now is as good of a time as any. A few weeks ago I had a CT scan done of my chest to check the healing of my sternum. In addition to the fact that my sternum had not healed enough, the CT also revealed a mass in my right breast. Last week I had an ultrasound and a mammogram which revealed a shadowing solid mass about the size of a nickle. Following that appointment we scheduled a needle biopsy which I had this afternoon. So now its waiting time. I should find out the results in 2-3 days but since my appointment was on a Thursday I will have to wait until Monday or Tuesday. I am very blessed to have many amazing family and friends supporting me through another crazy time in 2011. Of course I am hoping to hear the word benign but as crazy as this sounds I feel like if its malignant I can survive! I know that peace comes from God!

Many people choose to keep things like this private but talking through things is how I keep trucking forward! So there it is! The next few days will be spent with lots of family and friends and I am looking forward to that!

Love you all!