Frustrated

What is wrong with me? Why is something always wrong with me? Will my heart ever be healthy? These are the questions that go through my head all the time.
Last week I spend every afternoon at some sort of doctors appointment. My cardiologist and I are both concerned about why I still have a very loud murmur and shortness of breath. I cant climb a few stairs, or get in and out of bed in the middle of the night, let alone exercise without having shortness of breath. I'm not in the best shape but come on at the age of 28 I shouldn't have these constant problems. Keep in mind 7 months ago I had open heart surgery to close my VSD and they stitched a PFO... You would think my problems would be solved... but nope. So then I went to see my cardiac surgeon... after a 2 hour anxious wait in his office and a very unprofessional meeting here is what I know: I have surgery scheduled for next Friday to have the wires wrapped about my sternum removed which should solve my chest pain and constant inflammation, he thinks the murmur we are hearing is a flow murmur, I have to have a stress echo with doppler to determine my pulmonary artery pressures and then we can figure out what to do next.
So today I had my stress echo with doppler.... I hit my target heart rate at 160 in 4.5 minutes, and then my max heart rate of 190 at 8 minutes. PITIFUL! Its so frustrating! Anyways, the cardiologist reading the test today does not know my case so he wasn't very helpful... I will hopefully hear from my cardiologist and my cardiac surgeon in the next day or two before surgery.

I'm ready to be fixed! For real this time! Goodbye wires!